You
see him on Sunday morning well dressed in his three piece suit and
looking freshly anointed. The picture you see is that of a cherub, who
has just arrived from the heavens with a message for the people and
would be back there soon after.
Once
he starts to preach, the congregation is overwhelmed with the awe he
exudes. Because this is all they know about him, some followers believe
that is all about the pastor.
Ask
some Christians and they will bet their life savings that their pastors
have never visited the toilet, not to talk of having sex. They base
their judgement on the fact that usually, a pastor is seen praying ,
preaching or counselling; so the average congregant believes he must be
a super being, who never answers to any call of nature – especially
sex.
The pastor is perhaps the most
misunderstood and over-rated being on earth today. He is rated as a
semi-god, incapable of enjoying the pleasures that life presents him.
This is so because he rarely talks to his adherents about other areas of
his life.
Saturday PUNCH asked some pastors and pastors’ wives if they have erotic feelings and sexual closeness with their spouses like other people.
They said the illusion that pastors don’t have sex life only lies in the minds of few ignorant congregants.
“Sex is a beautiful gift from God within the marriage
context. It is not possible for my husband not to have sex. He feels
the same way other men feel because he is human. It is the food of our
marriage just as food is to the body. We make it a regular affair
because the absence of it can negatively affect our relationship and
even his work as a pastor,” said Pastor (Mrs.) Kemi Olofinkua of the New Anointing Deliverance Church, Anifowose, Ikeja, Lagos .
She
said that both she and her husband do not take sex for granted because
starving one another could cause a scandal, especially if not properly
managed.
She said that she seldom turned down her husband’s invitation because strange women would willingly offer themselves if allowed.
Similarly, Pastor Mrs. Shade Toyin-Kehinde said it is a fallacy to think or say that pastors don’t have sex with their wives.
She said, “Pastors
are not woods. It is the same with pastors as it is for other men. Sex
is an integral part of every marriage. It is anti-god to wish it away. A
healthy,
regular sex is important to pastors because it makes them to maintain
focus and avoid falling on the laps of other desperate women, who wish
to have them because of the glory on them.”
Toyin-Kehinde,
who is the wife of the Pastor in charge of Agape Generation
International Church, Maryland, Lagos, said there should be no week
without sex between a pastor and his wife. She said a healthy
sex in marriage enhances holiness, adding that it is unfortunate that
some pastors pretend to be too busy to enjoy sex in marriage.
Speaking
from a male pastor’s viewpoint, 84-year-old clergyman, Rev. Moses Iloh,
who is a Senior Pastor at Soul Winning Chapel, Ebute Meta, Lagos,
offered personal love experience.
Having been married to his wife, Love, for 48 years, he said that a healthy sexual relationship, among other things, has made him a very happy man.
He said that the secret of the erotic relationship between him and his wife is doing everything together.
“From
the first day of marriage, we bathed together, ate together, shared the
same bedroom. Our bodies belong to one another. With these activities,
there can be no barriers to a good sex relationship. We don’t starve
ourselves of sex,” he said.
Another
male pastor, Pastor Bisi Adewale, said that nothing could be farther
from the truth than believing that pastors do not have sex with their
wives. He said pastors crave sex just like every other man and there should not be any pretence about it.
“My wife is not available right now; she would have told you more. Pastors demand for sex more than men who are not pastors
because they have only one wife to turn to. The fact that we are
pastors doesn’t eliminate our biological make up. There should be no
pretence about this matter.
He said that pretending about the need for sex is a major cause of scandals in ministries and it should be avoided.
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