XMAS FUN: Ways To Catch A Chicken

Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood rooster who goes around terrorising and Molesting the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.

Another method:

Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.

CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.

And another. . .

Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.

**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.