The daughter of a flamboyant Hong Kong tycoon who reportedly offered 80million pounds in dowry to the man who married her, has written an
In an open letter published by South China Morning Post on Wednesday, Gigi Chao, 34, reaches out to her father, asking for him to come to terms with the fact that she is a lesbian.
Earlier this month, Cecil Chao Sze-tsung, a 77-year-old
Dear
Daddy, I thought the timing was right for us to have a candid
conversation. You are one of the most mentally astute, energetic yet
well mannered and hard-working people this humble earth has ever known.
Your confidence, quick wit, and charisma brightens any room you enter. I
love you very much, and I think I can speak for my brothers also, that
we have the utmost respect for you as a father and role model in
business. I am sorry that people have been saying insensitive things
about you lately. The truth is, they don’t understand that I will always
forgive you for thinking the way you do, because I know you think you
are acting in my best interests. And we both don’t care if anybody else
understands. As your daughter, I would want nothing more than to make
you happy.
But in terms of
relationships, your expectations of me and the reality of who I am, are
not coherent. I am responsible for some of this misplaced expectation,
because I must have misled you to hope there were other options for me.
You know I’ve had male lovers in the past, and I’ve had happy, albeit
short-lived, relationships. I found myself temporarily happy, buoyed by
the freshness, the attention, the interest, of someone physically
stronger than myself. But it was always short-lived, as I quickly lost
patience, and felt an indescribable discomfort in their presence. It
usually made me frustrated, and I would yearn for my freedom again. I’ve
broken a few hearts, hearts of good, honest and loving men, and I’m
sorry that it had to be so. But with Sean, a woman, somehow it was
different. I am comfortable and satisfied with my life and completely at
ease with her. I know it’s difficult for you to understand how I could
feel romantically attracted to a woman; I suppose I can’t really explain
it either. It just happens, peacefully and gently, and after so many
years, we still love each other very much.
My
regret is that you have no idea how happy I am with my life, and there
are aspects of my life that you don’t share. I suppose we don’t need
each other’s approval for our romantic relationships, and I am sure your
relationships are really fantastic too. However, I do love my partner
Sean, who does a good job of looking after me, ensuring I am fed, bathed
and warm enough every day, and generally cheering me up to be a happy,
jolly girl. She is a large part of my life, and I am a better person
because of her. Now, I’m not asking you to be best of friends; however,
it would mean the world to me if you could just not be so terrified of
her, and treat her like a normal, dignified human being. I understand it
is difficult for you to understand, let alone accept this truth. I’ve
spent a lot of time figuring out who I am, what is important in my life,
who I love and how best to live life, as an expression of all these
questions. I am proud of my life, and I would not choose to live it any
other way (except also figuring out how to be gentler on the planet).
I’m sorry to mislead you to think I was only in a lesbian relationship
because there was a shortage of good, suitable men in Hong Kong. There
are plenty of good men, they are just not for me. Wishing you happiness.
Patiently yours,
Your daughter, Gigi.
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