If Your Wedding Is Not On BellaNaija, You Are Technically Not Legally Married (MUST READ)

If you are an African woman like me between the “marriageable AGES” of 18-35, and hold even a modicum of social media/blogs use, you have probably fallen victim to this rage of “social media weddings!” You know, those weddings that are planned, programmed, and executed, strategically to create the “awwww,” “damn” and “wow” factor all over Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. And if you attempt to deny your obsession or your slight intrigue in this grandeur-wedding stigma scrounging all over the internet, either you are (1) Still a Learner or (2) Living under aso rock. But don’t worry, I guarantee you there are at least over 400,000 ladies (maybe gentlemen) across the world that fall somewhere within the spectrum of pure intrigue and extreme obsession. If you don’t believe me, check the followers count of famous wedding blogs like @bellanaijaweddings, @nigerianwedding, and @weddingdigestnaija, etc.

I will be the first to admit that I was a victim to these social media weddings. What started as an innocent interest in seeing beautiful brides and blushing at the prospect of that deep, endless, forever-and-a-day type love soon grew into a repulsive obsession. It began with thinking of my wedding colors, wedding gown and veil style. It soon drifted to figuring out my décor, flower arrangements, wedding party, aso ebi colors, how many times I have to change, D.J., etc. Thanks to social media, I had also figured out my makeup artists, hair stylists, and photographer(s) irrespective of the city I decided to tie my nuptials. My friends and I even shared photo albums on ICLOUD where we dropped screen shots of “wedding inspirations,” from ring size, to shoes, cakes, and every minute wedding décor you can think of!!! Before I realized it, I was planning my own wedding before I even had a boyfriend or husband prospect in sight! Crazy huh?!? I will not call names, but I had single girlfriends who were setting up wedding websites and overdosing on everything wedding on Pinterest. It was almost like an unspoken competition, each bride, bride-to-be, and hopeful-bride-to-be trying to outdo the other.

Not to be confused, I absolutely love weddings. I love and crave the idea of LOVE! I am also cognizant of the fact that weddings play a huge role in the African culture and more recently have become a thriving source of revenue fueling the Nigerian Economy. In a recent article published by Forbes, some Nigerians spend over $2 million on their dream wedding. However, the issue with modern day African weddings is that they drift away from the goal of celebrating the couples love/union, to just a big show off party. I wholeheartedly believe that some brides forget the fact that after the guests finish EATINGthe delicious jollof rice & chicken, they are stuck with their husbands forever….(however long their forever might be! Ha) However, I do not think these modern brides are wholly to be blamed. Looking holistically, these wedding websites and blogs, are guilty of creating the illusion that a couple is not in love or their marriage is short lived unless they have a grandeur wedding. Bella Naija Wedding blog, we all have to agree is one of the most famous culprits. From engagement shoots with the couple swimming like sharks under water, to pure human beings being used as wedding décor (random question, what is the going rate to become a static human décor? Is it even safe?).

Apart from humans going through near death experiences and risking their lives all in the name of wedding, we have the couples that fly half way across the world with their celebrity photographer and MAKEUP ARTISTS for engagement photo-shoots. The weddings that boasts of celebrity guests and entertainers. The beautiful Hausa brides that have weddings spanning over the course of nice days with their gazillion ceremonies. And my personal favorites, the Nigerian political weddings that reek of millions of embezzled money while the poor innocent Nigerian masses sing their praises in the comments, forgetting that they are the actual sponsors of such weddings. *sips tea* If that doesn’t make you gag, I’m not sure what will.

As much as I applaud the positive influence that Bella Naija has made in educating and bringing awareness on important issues affecting our community and the world, I personally think that Bella Naija Weddings is entirely classist. Bella Naija is highly prejudicial against couples with a low wedding budget. If you disagree with me, tag me in the link to a fully featured couple on the website that had an average wedding (I’ll wait -__-). They constantly send the message that a poor man’s pikin, like myself, is incapable of falling in love or getting married! Like cupid only shoots his darts at the high and mighty with wedding budgets costing more than a house. The featured brides and groom boasts of everything from designer dresses, to Swarovski crystal dazzled shoes, to Rolexes, luxury cars, and much more. The comment section, one of my favorite sections of the blog further confirms my sentiment. Simply off BEAUTIFUL pictures, spectators make comments such as “Wow! I can tell the couple must be in love,” “Na wa for this kind love tin tin oh!” You even see some commentators using these couples as a spiritual point of contact as they type their lengthy final-paper prayers! I’ve seen some girls leave their numbers and emails in hopes that the groom’s friend contact them (No Lie!). Not to say these couples aren’t in love or they don’t “goo goo ga ga” over each other, but HABA! how can you tell this simply off pictures! Fear God small! LOL.

Of course, every girl has her dream wedding and she is entitled to make that dream a reality. However, whether you can afford a simple court wedding or a wedding at the most luxurious hotel in town, the important thing is to remember why you are getting married and enjoy your day. Forget about society’s ridiculous expectations of what your day is supposed to look like (or cost), and make every moment with that special someone count. If any Bella Naija correspondent reads this article, I implore you to focus more about sharing the BEAUTIFULlove stories irrespective of the couple’s budget. Majority of your audience are simple, regular, hardworking people who should be able to relate to the wedding posts. They shouldn’t have to feel as if their love isn’t worthy of celebrating because it doesn’t meet the wedding budget requirement.

As for me, except one of Dangote or Bill Gates son proposes to me, the courthouse down the street is looking like a pretty good option. Who knows, my future husband and I might even end up at a bar/club drunk out of our mind!! It is our day, and we have the right to celebrate it however we want!

 BY

Kemi Odusami.